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One of my close military wife friends said this to me, and I have never forgotten it. It keeps us sane, it holds things together and it makes us happy and keeps our kids on the right track. It’s a matter of keeping things status quo, so we can handle anything unpredictable (and there’s always a lot of that). Obviously, we have fun and enjoy our children; in fact, they are often the best distraction from tough duty stations. We plan to have our children around the time our husbands will actually be home AND available. ) We plan family vacations and weddings around these schedules as well, and often, they get canceled or postponed.
Just because we appear to have it together during tough duty stations (see number 7)…laughing things off and trying to make the best of everything, we are always at our limit. There are times we are raising our kids alone, and we cannot, even if we wanted to, get a hold of our husbands…for weeks. Because when we do deviate from the system, there’s always a huge fallout. I know more than one military couple that eloped after their elaborate wedding was canceled due to a last minute trip.
Well first order of business is a pressing matter that several readers have written to me about. It goes a little like this: Straight woman, married with children meets and falls head over heels for a lesbian.
Straighty leaves her hetero life for her gay honey, hoping to live happily ever after.
Because when you choose to go after that woman, as great as she may be, you also choose to be in the lives of her children as well.
You are not only breaking her heart when you flake out, you are also potentially breaking theirs.
So we have to have an answer for everything, or at least know where to find one, and that amount of stress is deafening. We are happy to help out a friend, do someone a favor, and generally be a good person, of course. The distance, the stress, the overworked and exhausted husbands, the PTSD, or worse, the missed opportunities for husband/wife time all take a toll.
But, especially during deployment and particularly difficult duty stations for our spouses, we cannot do too much outside of continuing to do what we’re already doing. Eight years ago, before I moved across the country to be with my then boyfriend/now husband, a co-worker warned me.
Is it fair of the Gay Girl to pull her away from her straight life only to leave her once she does? I think that all these ladies should cut their losses and move on. It’s a blessing that you’ve realized you’re gay and that you’ve come out of the closet. ***Guardami negli occhi**- P1/C5 - SWEEPER RUNNING - VOTE NOW!